My daily schedule consists of waking up, looking at Facebook, listening to Our Daily Bread devotional, showering, eating, getting dressed for work and then going to work. While I’m at work I’ll check Facebook again, just in case I’ve missed something important in the world. Facebook is THE premier news source, you know. After work, I’ll eat, spend time with my husband, and unwind by watching a movie, reading OR looking at Facebook. Do you notice a pattern here? I look at Facebook more than I’m reading The Word.
This is a problem not just for my spiritual health, but for my mental health. The more I’m focused on what’s important in the world, I lose focus on what’s important to God. Everybody is celebrated on Facebook. If we are feeling good about ourselves and are proud of what we do we want the world to know. Only the good is plastered on Facebook and we rarely hear about anyone’s failures.
My priorities tend to line up with worldly achievements and I forget that God has a specific calling on my life. I tend to question what it is that I’m supposed to do. My job doesn’t appear to be making as much of a mark as other people seem to be doing. Am I supposed to take the GRE and go to grad school in order to do great things? There are so many of my friends that seem to have already reached their full potential. When will my time come, Lord? I immediately blame myself for not being motivated enough, I become envious and covet other people’s success, and I rethink all the things that I could have done differently in order to be where they are. This lowers my self-esteem and I get caught in this circle of hating myself for not being motivated or “active” enough, convincing myself that I’ll never be cut out for “greatness” because of my lack of motivation, and feeling stuck because I still desire to use my talents to do good things. This is toxic and is delaying all the progress that I could be making on discerning my purpose in life. Therefore, I have decided to take a Lenten fast from Facebook in order to seek God’s face and further discern my purpose in life.
I came across this scripture while reading some faith blogs for inspiration.
“Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, for each one should carry his own load” Galatians 6:4-5 NIV
I also found another translation (The Message) for the same passage, and the purpose of this fast became even clearer.
“Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” Galatians 6:4-5 The Message
This Lent, I’m purposefully removing myself from Facebook world where everyone does everything right. I will focus on God’s Word, develop my talents for writing and healing, and discern how I should use my talents. Writing is a conversation that I have with myself after reading or life experiences incur a scavenger hunt of my soul. I’m able to discover many things about myself, others, and our relationship with God. I will make a “careful exploration” of who I am and whose I am and “sink” myself into that. I will do my best not to compare myself with others. And I will take responsibility “for doing the creative best” I can with my own life. How satisfying will that be?!